HEADWAY NEWSLETTER
DECEMBER 2009

Headway would like to wish all its members a wonderful festive season and a happy and healthy New Year. If you should be lucky enough to be travelling to far flung destinations, travel safely and enjoy your holiday.

Our last day at The Headway Centre will be 11th December 2009 and we will reopen on 11th January 2010. However, if you need help urgently, please phone the office and our message facility will direct you to someone who will be able to assist you.

In this Newsletter I am carrying on with the subject of behavioural problems after suffering a brain injury. If you are a caregiver of a brain injured person you will have realised by now that no matter how high functioning the person is, you are bound to encounter some of the behavioural problems that I have listed in our November newsletter as well as this edition.

“Lack of Awareness of Deficits
It is relatively common for a head injury survivor to be unaware of his/her deficits. Remember that this is part of the neurological damage not just obstinacy. Be aware, however, that denial can also be a coping mechanism to conceal the fear that he/she cannot do a particular task. The person may insist that the activity cannot be done or is “stupid”.

Build self-esteem by encouraging the person to try a (non-dangerous) activity that he/she feels confident doing.

Give the person visual and verbal reminders or “hints” (eg a smile or the words “good job”) to improve confidence in carrying out basic activities more independently.

If you feel the person can handle confrontation, challenge him/her to try the activity. Demonstrate that you can do the task easily.

Inappropriate Sexual Behaviour
After a head injury, a person may experience either increased or decreased interest in sex. The causes could be a result of brain regulation of hormonal activity or emotional response to the injury.

Sexual disinterest from a head injured spouse should not be taken personally. Avoiding sexual contact could stem from fear or embarrassment about potential performance. Do not pressure the person to resume sexual activity before he/she is ready. Helping the person dress nicely and practice good hygiene may help increase his/her confidence in feeling attractive.

Increased sexual interest can be particularly stressful and embarrassing to families and caregivers. Without good impulse control, the survivor may make crude remarks out in public, make a pass at a married friend, try to touch someone in an inappropriate setting, or demand sexual attention from a spouse or significant other.

It is important to remind the person that the behaviour is not acceptable.

A spouse should not feel pressured into submitting to sexual demands which are unwanted. A sexually aggressive person may need to be isolated from others when inappropriate behaviour is not controlled. A call for help may be necessary, if physical threats are made. Support groups may be useful in helping the person realise the consequences of inappropriate sexual behaviours.

Learning to Cope/Getting Support
Coping with behaviour problems after a head injury requires identification and acknowledgment of the impaired individual’s deficits. A comprehensive neuropsychological assessment is recommended. This may help both the survivor and the family to better understand neurological and cognitive deficits.

In some cases, it may be easier for the family caregiver to recognise personality changes than to resolve the problem behaviour. Targeted strategies may be used to deal with specific behavioural issues.

Finally, it is critical that family members seek and receive support (family, friends, support groups, counsellor) in dealing with their own emotional responses to caring for a head injured loved one.”

In the next newsletter I will be writing about caring for a brain injured person at home as well as managing problem behaviour.

DECEMBER ANNIVERSARIES OF ACCIDENT/ILLNESS:
“To be like you want to be, be like a bee. If the bee wasted its time comparing its big body with its small, light wings, it would not be flying today.” S Zondo.

WELCOME TO NEW MEMBERS:
We would like to welcome Ora Taback and Dorian and Guy Barnfather as new Headway members, and hope that their association with us will be a long and fruitful one.

CONDOLENCES:
Our deepest sympathy goes out to the families of Shane Duffy and Shirley Perumal, both of whom passed away in November. They were both attendees at Headway in Hyde Park and will be sadly missed by our staff, attendees and therapists.

It was with great sadness that we heard of the passing away of Erica Hill after a short illness. Her son Martin suffered a brain injury after a motor vehicle accident in 1979 and she was one of our founder members having joined us in 1998. Erica and her family moved from Gauteng down to Trevlyn Lodge in Vredenburg but remained on our mailing list. She was always cheerful no matter what adversity the family were going through and she will be sadly missed. We extend our deepest sympathy to her children and the rest of the family.

LOVING THOUGHTS:
Get well wishes are extended to Elton Brown who is recovering from a stab wound. The Brown’s have just recently lost their youngest son to cancer, and it was hugely traumatic for the family to nearly lose this son too. Our thoughts are with them.

We send special get well wishes to John Buchel who has suffered a mild heart attack, and is recovering in hospital. John has been of wonderful support to Headway over the years, both morally and financially, and he and Jean are regular attendees of the HFC meetings. We are thinking of John, Jean and family, and hope his stay in hospital will be a short one.

Our thoughts are also with the Prinsloo family. The roof was blown off their house in the violent storms experienced just recently, and their car was stolen at about the same time! What more can anyone endure? We do hope that life will start improving for this family soon.

FAREWELL:
We are very sad to say goodbye to our very popular and capable Occupational Therapist, Kelly Barnes (Now Stevenson). Kelly has been with Headway for more than a year and in that time has wormed her way into the hearts of staff and attendees alike with her patient, caring and loving attitude. Kelly and her husband, Graeme, are relocating to the UK. We are going to miss her terribly, but we wish them both God Speed and best of luck in their new endeavours.

We are also going to have to say goodbye to our very special counselling volunteer, Katie Bromley. Katie has always gone the ‘extra mile’ and as she is always willing to take on all sorts of tasks has been of great help not only to Talita but to everyone else at Headway. Fortunately Katie is not going far away! She has been accepted to do her Masters degree at Wits – a wonderful opportunity for her. We wish her everything of the best in her studies and hope that she will be able to pop in to see us when her busy schedule allows.

Elaine Alston who has been volunteering at Headway for the past year is leaving us to go back to the UK. We thank her for her hard work and dedication over the year and wish her and her husband a safe trip and good luck in their new home.

HEADWAY’S FRIDAY MUSIC GROUP VISITS SOUTH AFRICAN GUIDE DOG ASSOCIATION (SAGA):
Bernie Furrows (our music therapist) who is partially sighted and comes to Headway with her Guide Dog Biscuit arranged this visit for our Friday attendees. Bernie reported as follows –

“Perhaps you are wondering what a music group and Guide Dogs have to do with each other. The reason I thought a trip to Guide Dogs might be enjoyed by the music group I run at Headway is that the attendees just love my Guide Dog, Biscuit. It is a joy to take her ‘to work’ with me at a place where people are not afraid of dogs and enjoy her company. Of course, she loves the attendees in return and I have my work cut out persuading attendees not to feed her.

SAGA’s PRO had arranged with Ejay to give us a presentation on the work of the Service Dog. Ejay is currently training four dogs for people in wheelchairs. Service Dogs are trained to help people who are not fully physically mobile. In short, they become “physical extensions” of their owners. Ejay used the ‘learner’ Service Dog named Ticker to demonstrate what Service Dogs need to learn. Ticker was a beautiful, soft and gentle, young black Labrador. He enjoyed showing off his skills such as picking up keys, fetching the TV remote control, switching lights on and off, opening and closing doors – the list is endless. It was also interesting to learn that Service Dogs are trained to ‘speak’ (bark) in order to attract attention if their owner needs help. For example, if their owner should fall out of the wheelchair, and be unable to get up, he or she would tell the dog to “speak” and the dog will bark until someone comes.

We also learnt about Social Dogs. Social Dogs are currently being used to help children with Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome. Research has shown that dogs used in various therapy centres have helped clients/patients improve quicker than those who are not exposed to these animals. Fairly recently these ideas have been accepted in South Africa and Service Dogs have been allowed into certain wards in some hospitals. In fact, Biscuit’s brother, whose name is Banjo, is a Social Dog at Rehab Matters in Rivonia.

A greatly anticipated part of our tour was our visit to the kennels and PUPPIES!! Oh yes, the wonderful smell of puppy breath; the joy of having our collars or watch straps nibbled and of course the eager licking and snuffling of puppies saying “take me home with you!” We all had to have a turn holding the puppies and were reminded incessantly to support their back legs. It was hard to leave them and some of us could not resist running back to say “Good bye” again! The ‘maternity wards’ are strictly supervised by kennel staff, as are ‘hospital wards’ for dogs that are sick or need to be kept in isolation for any reason.

It was a lovely morning. The tour had lasted over two hours and it was rewarding to notice that every attendee had been focused for every bit of it. I knew I had made a good choice when we arrived back at Headway and heard several voices ask, ‘When can we go again?’”

Thank you Bernie for the feedback and also for organising what was obviously such an enjoyable visit. I was also intrigued by some information that Bernie sent me off the Guide Dog Website that the dog has been a companion and aid to blind people for centuries and that there is a painting in the Louvre, in Paris, depicting a blind man and his “guide dog” painted by Chardin in the mid 1700’s!

THANKS FOR DONATIONS:
Unfortunately this time of year is always a lean one as far as monetary donations are concerned and we are, therefore, very grateful for donations from Grant Thornton, the Zaal family and Heneways, all of whom donate annually at this time. Their support is always much appreciated. Of course we also have our monthly donations from Andrew Delmont, David Graham and Danya Danilowitz which really mean a lot to us. It would be wonderful if a lot more members would take up the challenge and donate on a monthly basis.

Thank you to everyone who has donated groceries and stationery. Thank you to Claire and Harry le Roux who donated a ream of paper. Paper is something which is very high on our ‘wanted list’.

Di van der Hoven, a volunteer at Headway, baked us a wonderful Christmas Cake to raffle. This was drawn at the End of Year Function and was won by Alex Rose, also a volunteer. I think everyone knows what a star baker Di is, as this raffle brought in nearly R500! Thank you Di for helping Headway in so many ways.

A big thank you to Sonia Staraceck and her daughter who donated a wonderful prize for our staff and volunteers of a nights stay for two at The Metcourt Hotel at Emperor’s Palace, which consists of dinner, bed and breakfast as well as R300 spending/gambling money. Sheila organised a draw which was won by our Admin Assistant Jennilee. She was absolutely delighted with this fantastic prize and says she is going to treat her mother.

FOR SALE!:
Everyone who has tasted a San Salvador Christmas Pudding will attest to the fact that they are indeed the best puddings in South Africa! Headway Hyde Park is in the beautiful grounds of San Salvador which is a home for intellectually challenged women, and we are selling these puddings (as we do every year) in order to help them to raise funds. Please come and purchase one from us before stocks run out. The large puddings sell for R70 and the smaller ones are R35.

I am sure most of you will remember our cookery books. Due to popular demand we have organised another printing. We have edited out a few mistakes picked up in the last one – so this will be an even better edition! This cookery book came into being in 2006 when Michele Cahi, our Occupational Therapist, identified a need to teach life skills that could be carried over into the home environment. The preferred interest amongst our attendees appeared to be culinary skills, and one of our volunteers started teaching a small group to cook. Cooking proved so popular that a decision was made to publish the recipes which had become favourites in the Headway kitchen, and so “Food in a Flash from Headway” was born. This second edition is now selling at R50 and will make an excellent Christmas gift. Be quick and snap one up while stocks last! At this point I would like to say a big thank you to Stuart Sutcliffe of “The Orange Print House” in Randburg who does all our printing and gave us an extremely good price for the printing of the cook book.

We are selling blank cards (which can be used as Christmas Cards) at Headway for R5 each or a pack of 5 different cards for R25. These are very colourful cards, one of which was designed by a Headway attendee and the other contains a collage of artwork done by our attendees. We also have a card with a picture of the Headway garden. Naturally all monies raised go to Headway!

Another item for sale (which would make a nice stocking filler) is our popular Headway “Never Give Up” Key Rings. We have just got a new stock in from Dylan Prinsloo and we are selling these at R35 each.

KHOMELELA NEWS: (From Linda Marais)
As promised Victor has written an account of his trip to New York –

Victor’s memorable trip to New York
My name is Victor Nzimande. I am honoured and appreciate the opportunity to have participated in the New York Marathon on the 1st November 2009. We left South Africa from OR Tambo Airport with SAA. We had a stopover at Senegal to pick up more passengers. We took off after an hour and our next stop was J.F. Kennedy Airport. We stayed at a hotel on the corner of 43rd Street and 7th Avenue West.

The day of the race was on Sunday morning and it was freezing. We took our place at the starting line and I finished the race in 6 hours 57 minutes. The experience I had was breathtaking as I saw other disabled athletes doing the same as everybody else.

During my stay in America we had the opportunity to go on a ferry; we saw the Statue Of Liberty and went to the Empire State building. As it was my first visit to the United States, I really enjoyed the different lifestyle of that country.

On returning back to South Africa I would like to be able to be a role model and inspiration to others with brain injury or disability, and because of Headway and S.A. Achilles, I had an opportunity to go abroad to one of the most famous countries in the world. I am going to encourage all my friends, especially my friends at the centre to do sports so they might have the opportunity as I did to go abroad. I would like to thank you all very much for this wonderful opportunity.

Farewell to Michael
Michael Letageng, one of our attendees, informed me last week that because he has improved so much from all the therapy he has had from Headway; he will be able to return to work. He will be starting on the 3rd December.

Michael wrote a beautiful letter of thanks -
“Dedicating my thanks to Headway, the Re-hab Centre, Occupational Therapists, care givers and the Management and not forgetting my fellow attendees.

Thanks and thumbs up for Headway and everybody who was involved. You gave me the power and strength, brought back confidence, strength and built up my self esteem which was down to zero. You gave me hope that I can once again become a better person. Life to me was looking very unfair but you guys came racing to my rescue. I highly appreciate the good work you do.

Keep up the good work you do, mostly for the needy. Revive those in need and God will bless you because he put you there for a purpose. Appreciating your commitment and faithfulness. You will always be my source of healing my entire life. You know exactly what it takes to better someone, the passion and patience you all have has really inspired me, the caring hand like Mother Teresa. I wish it stays there for years to come. Keep walking like John Walker and never give up, like you motivated us not to. Hold your Head high.

Soon I will be resuming work. Thanks for your effort, I feel so thankful and a bit emotional when I think that if it was not because of you, where would I have been? My situation will be back to normal soon and I will never forsake Headway. You landed upon me like the angel of peace and mercy. I would like Headway not to hesitate to contact me should you need to. I will always be available.”

Regards Michael Letageng

Thank you Linda for sending us the accounts from Victor and letter from Michael. How inspiring these are.

Linda also sent me the following to pass on to everyone :

“I would like to take this opportunity to thanking the staff of Headway Hyde Park, all the Board Members and sponsors, also Khomelela staff, as well as all the attendees for making me part of the Headway family, I am eternally grateful for all the love and support I have received since I have been at Khomelela. To all my friends at Headway, I would like to wish you all a blessed and fantastic Christmas.”

FEEDBACK FROM OUR END OF YEAR FUNCTION:
Although I was unfortunately unable to attend the party I have received feedback that everyone had a good time. I believe that our centre was so packed that it has been mooted that we hire a hall for the next do! A special thank you to Bianca who co-ordinated the whole affair and to all the staff and volunteers who helped out on the day. And thank you to you our members who contributed so generously with food and drink. We thank ‘The Players’ who donated their time and entertained us so royally. I hear that everyone was in fine voice, especially Warren van Straaten. We were also extremely grateful that Gareth Cliff and Ntombi Masilela (our Headway patrons) took time off from their busy schedule to attend the party with some of the other Radio 5 personalities. Gareth very kindly spoke about Headway on his breakfast show on the Monday after the party. This always gives us much needed exposure and publicity.

HFC MEETINGS:
The last HFC meeting took place on 26th November. However, we look forward to seeing all of those regulars who attend these meetings after the 11th January 2010, which is when our centre reopens. We will advise our members of the dates for next year’s meetings once everyone is back in office. A big thank you to Talita, our psychologist, for running the meetings and organising all the wonderful guest speakers we have had over the past year.
---ooo0ooo---
Editor and compiler : Annie Coe

Thought for the Day:
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. Theodore N Vail.

Stay Alert in the UK:
Take a note of this if you are thinking of travelling to the UK for your annual leave :

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
My daughter and I went through the McDonalds’ take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a twenty pence piece. She said ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.......Do not confuse the clerks at MacD’s.

IDIOT SIGHTING #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a ½ horsepower. He shook his head and said ‘Lady, you need a ¼ horsepower.’ I responded that ½ was larger than ¼ and he said, “NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two. We haven’t used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, Nr. Watford UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’ Story from Potters Bar, Herts, UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimum lettuce.’ He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg lettuce. From South Oxhey Herts, UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5
I was at the airport checking at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’ He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’ Happened at Luton Airport, UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ She is a Local County Councillor employee in Harrow, Middlesex, UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING #7
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers’ side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey’, I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, ‘it’s open!’ His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’ This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire, UK.